I worked all my life to come to this point in my existance: senior. I am also a widow, which has given me a new perspective on being alone in this wide, wide world of being alive. I fought tooth and nail, kicking and screaming to resist the present century of newness: the computer wise world. My dear brother tried to introduce me to this wonder, that obviously I have embraced. Well, sort of. My friends, counting on one hand and daily now, have somewhat resisted. Out of all of them, including the much younger generations than the first group, students turned friends, etc. one is savy to the possibilities, I have adventured (needless to say ) into the world of electronic sales(?). My skills as an artist from my past employment(s) included the use of pen and ink, watercolour paint, acrylics (using the old-fashioned brush strokes), constructing and decorating stage sets (i.e. painting the scrims, floorings, thus whatever you saw when the curtain rose: backdrops, stretched canvas, furniture, props, and so forth) and the playwriting of the various scripts thereof. I designed the ‘canvas’ that brought the stories to the audience, set the mood, gave the viewer ‘something to remember, to digest, and hopefully enjoy’. All of the scripts were hammered out on the typewriters with paper and ribbon, remember those instruments youngsters, that which had preceeded the computer, however the same keyboard is still, thank goodness, being utilized today. Now I have the ‘power’(?) of the vast, worldly wise internet to expose them to my thoughts, creations, worries, hopes, disappointments and successes (here’s wishing more). If my feeble struggle to endorse this medium falls short, forgive me, as I stated in the first statement, I am a ‘newbie’, I believe the term is appropriate here.
I started out with internet names, Aol and Yahoo, have two separate tags, as I said my brother gave me one and a ‘friend’ alotted this second one. I am a social triumph by now, whizzing through the countless territory of what the search engines afforded me. Albeit, I love the effectiveness of the sites that come to my beck and call, research has become a dream come true, youngsters do not realize what Libraries were used for in the ‘Dark Ages’? This reminds me of what the 18th century people did when they were introduced to the archaic, dare I utter the word, Dictionary? Entire avenues opened before their eyes. Pilgrims progress so to speak. New lands to conquer, fight over and people to surpass. All this has a price, of course, for some the widening areas also meant personal freedoms such as we knew were to be sacrificed- the sacrosanct of privacy whittled away.
When I suddenly found myself alone, that is to speak to be widowed, I was lost. Retiremenet years were sought after for ‘us’ to enjoy together, alas, it was not to be. My social groupings dwindled rapidly, as a single woman now, I seemed to pose a threat to the few ‘couples’ that I knew with my husband. I became a ‘third wheel, an odd demonination at a invitation, or an awkward position not easily overcome’. However, due to unforeseen circumstances, a dear friend of ours had lost her ‘lovely husband’ just months prior to my loss and we together clung to each other for the socialization we were used to. Realizing that few had our ‘experience’ with the unthinkable now, we fortified the feelings and verbalized them to rationalize them to ourselves. She too, had ‘friends’ drop her like a ‘sour note’ in an orchestra of melodious sounds, we co-ordinated our grief and cleared our pain. That’s when the new idea was conceived: return to the talents that I had used earlier-Draw and Write. The fresh approach to old gifts once more challenged my senses, could I use the 21st century device to open up onto a different audience?
The creative modes of using actual instruments, not the mechanical device attached to the nemesis-my computer, would be superior in my way of thinking. The feel of a pen or pencil or even a brush wielded by my own deliberate hand gave a certain joy to my creative soul. Consequently, I placed my few examples, although not entirely convinced was I that the up and coming market would hold promise online, to be more exact, Imagekind website. Afterall, this was an experiment, to test the attitude and feasiblity of such an enterprise on my part. New methods of execution to, the term ‘post’ was and still is a curious terminology, secure a site from which to release my artwork in their various modes :prints, giclees, wrapped canvases, and posters. DVD, USB these were unfamiliar items, but soon became a necessary ‘evil’ in order to support my test. The test is ongoing as I write this ‘blog’. Then, the next conquest was eyed and a goal set : Publish!
I had so many ideas and stories yet still inside, I had volunteered at a pre-school evironment, and read to even younger students. They were captivated by what and how I interpreted that they actually encouraged me to pick up the ‘writen story’ once more, the ‘tell us a story’ became my favorite duty, not a chore. I wove tales of heroes, not unlike themselves, made their everyday worries and triumphs sound appealing. They listened to anedotes and learned lessons, albeit disguised. My own pleasure came from their attentions, yes the computer and television raised children were actually following along using their own , dare I utter it, imagination! Following this happenstance, I began to write again. Publishing these and many other genre online. Using Smashwords vehicle I gave ‘birth’ to yet another career (?), the pains of bringing forth life to these ebooks are still felt, now.
In summary, I wonder how many other people such as myself, have turned their ‘golden years’ around as I have tried and sought a fresh look at life or the loss, heaven forbid like my own, and/or became a senior searching for new avenues to persue. I would love to ‘hear’ from those who have/had similar situations.
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